Explosive Renteria 4
Carry on Heyward Son 8
(L – My Prediction, Explosive Renteria)
This hurts. It sucks to lose. It sucks to eat crow. I am a crow eating loser this week. First off, I would like to extend a very heart felt fuck you to the following people:
Ike Davis (4/3/6/0/.381/1.345). I get it. I drafted you and then went on the interwebs and said I should have taken Jose Tabata over you. Then I dropped you at my first opportunity for a guy named Macier. So, I get it, you hate me. Well, the feeling is mutual, hombre. I hate you right back. Now that you’ve had your week in the sun and you’re through kicking my ass, you can go back to being an average first baseman with marginal power who plays for the Mets in that abyss you call Shea.
Curtis Granderson (7/3/6/0/.421/1.503). Nice week. Now revert back to the mean.
David Wright (7/3/6/3/.286/1.206). Now’s the week you hit 3 bombs? Eff you.
Carlos Gonzalez (1/0/1/0/.050/.217). I have personally mailed you some damn Theraflu and some midol. Please take both and start hitting. You were the single worst first round draft pick in the history of fantasy baseball this week. The. Worst. Ever. Congratulations. Now, please do something to make me stop hating you.
Pittsburgh Pirates and Chicago Cubs. Win some fucking games. Seriously, this is the second week in a row I’ve finished with 2 saves. That ain’t gonna cut it. You are both professional baseball teams, please win a few games. Maybe like 2-3 per week, but only by 3 runs or less, and preferably not on back to back days to give your closers rest. Good Lord, it’s no wonder the Cubs haven’t won a World Series since William McKinley was President.
Tacoby Bellsbury 5
Gangstas 5
(L – My prediction Gangstas)
Remember what I said about Carlos Gonzalez? Dr. Dunk dittos those sentiments exactly with Hanley Ramirez (0/0/3/2/.048/.214). Dunk, at least Han Ram’s 2 SBs helped you win that category 9-6. It’s not often that two catchers put the best weekly lines for their respective team, but that happened in this matchup. Mike Napoli (4/2/4/0/.364/1.624) was en fuego this week, as was Alex Avila (4/0/5/0/.412/1.180).
Dr. Dunk put up good pitching numbers, yet somehow, despite starting 4 closers, he couldn’t manage to win Saves. The main reason is because both the Boston Red Sox and Tampa Rays are back and Jonathan Papelbon and Kyle Farnsworth got some saves. Oh, and because Sean Burnett is giving way to Drew Storen.
Big Time Timmy Jim 6
Ruppert Mundys 4
(W – My prediction was Timmy Jim).
The Big Time Timmy Jim’s are just solid. Somehow, they managed to overcome 3 players hitting under .150 to win AVG. I think the big news out of this matchup is that it is still April and Mark Teixeira (4/1/2/0/.438/1.446) is putting up good numbers. This guy usually doesn’t show up until May. Good things may be ahead for BobbyJ.
Still, this is BobbyJ’s third straight loss and I’m sure it’s starting to piss him off. He is just 1.5 games ahead of his brother, Lobster, in a desperate race for dead last.
The Lobster 4
Honey Badgers (formerly Action Jacksons) 6
(L – I took The Lobster)
Well, Flynner changed the name of his team. The details underlying the reasons for choosing the name Action Jacksons are not appropriate for this blog, but it is good to see that the team name, much like it’s name sake, the real Action Jackson, was but a fleeting affair that seemed like a good idea at the time, but ultimately proved to be not all that gratifying. Let me introduce you all to the Honey Badger. He don’t give a shit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg
Tip of the cap this week goes to Carlos Ruiz (1/0/0/0/.000/.222), who managed to score a run without getting a single fucking hit. Good thing he scored that run, because if he didn’t the Honey Badgers would have won 7-4. Matt Cain let The Lobster down this week by posting an 11.57 ERA, while Lobster lost ERA by 0.03.
Kudos to Flynner for proving me wrong. I eat crow again.
Purple Tigers 4
Wuertz Case Scenario 8
(W – my prediction Wuertz Case)
The Purple Tigers offense is having some trouble in the early part of the season. It’s hard to overcome half of your lineup hitting under .200 and that’s what Brandonwood’s did this week. The Purple Tigers tried to keep it close, posting pretty good pitching number, including an eye-popping 9.95 K/9, but it wasn’t enough. Emerson’s squad swept hitting and won Wins (3) and Ks (68).
Haveyouseenmywiener 5
Let Timmy Smoke 6
(W – my prediction was Let Timmy Smoke)
Death, Taxes and Walter wins SBs. Despite getting off to an early 10-1 lead, Let Timmy Smoke let Haveyouseenmywiener back in the game. Walter posted some impressive numbers this week: 10 HR, 9 SBs. That’s strong. 2.20 ERA, 1.08 WHIP. That’s strong too. Now that Carl Crawford is starting to show signs of life, Haveyouseenmywiener could be a formidable opponent and a trendy sleeper pick…
I expected Thriller’s pitching staff to win the counting numbers, but they only managed to win Ks and K/9. Brian Wilson came back to earth this week and posted a pretty horrible 10.13 ERA with but 1 Save.
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