OK, for the 2-3 people who actually read anything I write about on this blog, you have probably gathered that I am a big fantasy baseball fan (read: geek, dork, tool, whatever you want, I’m OK with it). I recently started a league with some friends, many of whom have never played this game before. So, since this is the inaugural year of the “rub the balls and Tug McGraw” league, this is as good a time to start a blog about it as any.
Now, before I start, I want you to know that these posts will be based on actual happenings in the league. I will change the names of the participants, and any thoughts attributed to them will come from me. The purpose of the blog is to comment on fantasy baseball in the context of an actual league in order to put some perspective on how things work, when they work and why they work (or why they don’t work). I will mostly chronicle my own team and I will provide some biting criticisms of the Explosive Renteria’s (yes, I’m immature. I think that name is pretty funny), but I will also include other commentary as well.
We are playing in a head to head, 6x6 league, which will count Runs, Home Runs, RBI, Stolen Bases, Average and OPS; Wins, Strikeouts, Saves, ERA, WHIP and K’s per 9.
Now, let me introduce the teams:
The Rupert Mundy’s are managed by BobbyJ, a very good baseball player from back in the day. BobbyJ has some fantasy baseball experience and has actually been the commissioner of a league a couple of times. The benefit of BobbyJ’s experience playing fantasy baseball is generally trumped by his attention span. It’s low.
The Action Jackson’s are managed by Flynner, another former baseball player. We played together for two years in college (I quit, he kept going). Perhaps his biggest claim to fame was winning his first start as a collegiate pitcher, when before the game our asshole coach gathered the team and gave a rallying cry of “we gotta score a bunch of runs today, fellas. Flynner is pitching, so it’s gonna be a bash fest.” Flynner won 5-3. He is fantasy rookie.
The Purple Tigers are managed by Brandonwood, who actually caught Flynner’s first game. Despite his penchant for the most vile language know to man spoken in the most hideous drunken East Tennessee accent one can fathom, Brandonwood is a cerebral fellow, so bad decisions may be few from him. Brandonwood is not new to the fantasy game, having played in an NL Only keeper league for a couple of years.
The Let Timmy Smoke’s are managed by Thriller Clark. Thriller was sitting on the bench next to me for Flynner’s collegiate debut on the mound. A quality lefty in the Jamie Moyer mold, Thriller has a deep knowledge of the game, which is tainted only by his love affair with the San Francisco Giants. Thriller is also a fantasy rookie, and sneaky good at golf under the right circumstances.
The Gansta’s are managed by Dr. Dunkenstein. Dunk is the most yankee of anyone in the league. A former college soccer player at some school above the Mason Dixon line, Dunk makes his living gambling on horses. He loves soccer. He has some fantasy baseball experience and will likely prove to be a formidable opponent.
The Lobster’s are managed by Lobster. The Lobster is by far the youngest player in the league, though he possesses the demeanor of a BB gun assassin. The product of two older brothers who teased him unmercifully, Lobster is unflappable in the face of adversity. Judging by his draft, he’ll face a lot of that this season. Despite his draft results, Lobster is a fantasy veteran.
The Wuertz Case Scenario’s are managed by Emerson. Emerson is quite confused. He and Flynner share a shameful affliction as lifelong Alabama fans. Yet, Emerson spent his collegiate days in the University of Tennessee system at UTC and his graduate school days at my beloved University of Tennessee. He is a fantasy rookie.
The Big Time Timmy Jim’s are managed by Charlie. Charlie is a winner and likely the wittiest owner in the league. He comes from a successful fantasy football background and is hoping to parlay that gridiron success into winning on the diamond. Nevertheless, Charlie is a fantasy baseball rookie as well.
The Haveyouseenmywiener’s are managed by Walter. Possessed with a self-depricating sense of humor, Walter is an Angry Birds expert, having beaten every level of the game while enjoying his other favorite activity: shitting. Walter has little baseball background, yet he always finds a way to come out everything he gets himself into with great success. He, too, is a fantasy baseball rookie.
The Tacoby Bellsbury’s are managed by Jacob. Jacob is a bit of a ninja, who is capable of sneaking up on people without their knowing about it, despite his size 15 feet. Jacob will attempt to ninja his way into fantasy glory this year, his first in fantasy baseball.
The Carry on Heyward Son’s are managed by Tramboman. Also a bit of a ninja, Trambo moves like smoke and excels at any and all bar games. He comes from a distinguished pedigree of fantasy baseball success, though, so he will not be sneaking up on anyone this year. Tramboman will be force in this league.
Then, there’s me. I manage the Explosive Renteria’s.
Let the games begin. Next up, The Draft.
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